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    In Other Words: Variation and reference and narrative. There is no kiss over a cake because at 10 there were no kisses, just the dream come true: Sixteen Candles’s Samantha Baker finally landing her senior crush, Jake Ryan.

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    There was the super-successful corporate honcho with a cardboard box for a nightstand. And I can’t forget the “totally eligible” magazine editor who moved to the suburbs while we were dating, convinced me to take a bus to visit him, showed off his two-story brick house with granite kitchen counters and an actual backyard, as if knowing it was exactly what I aspired to—and then promptly married someone else.As a former “Bachelorette” contestant, Garofola knows he has no problem scoring with women — he goes on up to five first dates a week, which he says usually include a drink or two and nothing beyond a goodnight smooch on the cheek.But in the past two months, he’s been feeling spent by the mating game.The best friend with whom I had zero sexual attraction. There were men who have dropped me on my head, literally and figuratively. At some point, I yelled at almost all of these men for not being “what I wanted,” and, as we all do, turned to my female friends for consolation and support.The self-described “bi-coastal but not in a gay way” guy who didn’t come home one night because he’d passed out in a planter underneath the Manhattan Bridge. “He doesn’t deserve you,” they would say, my own Greek chorus.

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